


You Make Everything Okay

by hibiren



Series: Jay's Promptis Collection [5]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Catharsis, Comfort, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Emotional, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Gentle Kissing, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Promptis - Freeform, Recovery, References to Depression, Sad, Stargazing, Suicidal Thoughts, implied Gladnis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-07-04
Packaged: 2020-06-03 18:38:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19469803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hibiren/pseuds/hibiren
Summary: Those who cry the loudest hold the most pain within. Those who make no sound have been holding it in far too long.





	You Make Everything Okay

**Author's Note:**

> irl, I've been going through a lot. This is my way of expressing my innermost fears, through someone else's eyes, the best catharsis I can have.
> 
> Title from Starset's "My Demons," my mood song for this piece.

_I'm going crazy, this is it, I'm finally gonna snap;_ Prompto thought to himself as he split off from the group as they set up camp for the night. He claimed to need fresh air but the excuse wasn't as solid as he hoped. They were outside - _camping_ \- after all.

Prompto kicked at the rocks at his feet while he walked away, no particular path on his mind. The road was nearby now; the sound of cars rushing against concrete floated over from some distance away. He found his shelter beneath a hanging rock face, shaded off from the waning sun and the noise of the road.

His inner daemons were chasing him, biting at his mind, tearing into his skull - there was little he could do to fight them off. Prompto knew he was miserable, leaving him with no choice except running away before he risked breaking down fully in front of his friends.

Were they really his friends? Or were they just acquaintances by proximity, stuck with him and his inability to keep up, his lack of royal upbringing? His… differences?

There was only so long he could keep up his cheerful facade, his identity as Prompto, and not just a brand on his wrist, just numbers and ink. He felt so fake, so lost, unreal and unwanted. Just a replica, doomed to try to fight what he was designed to be. So much for perfection.

These thoughts rang through his mind as he laid down against the gritty gravel beneath the cliffside. He was worthless. Useless. Especially when he was like this. He felt so, so numb as sobs shook through his body and he finally let out all he'd been keeping bottled up. He couldn't let the others see. He'd wipe the tears away, clean himself up, and go back like nothing was wrong. Just like all the other times.

_They’re not gonna care. They have enough on their plates. I’m not worth their time. I’m just complaining, about nothing, they shouldn’t have to listen to me._

A phrase, a familiar one, ran through his mind; one he’d found while perusing one of those cheesy self-help articles online one night on his phone when he couldn’t sleep:

_Those who cry the loudest hold the most pain within. Those who make no sound have been holding it in far too long._

The tears escaped with no effort, his face was wet and tasting of salt and shame and pure terror. Prompto curled into himself. Pebbles and rocks dug into his arms but he didn’t care. His existence, in that moment, was just tears and trembles and the overwhelming realization that he was alone.

Breaths wheezed in and out, rapidly, rattling against his chest and spiking pain each time he tried to gasp in a deeper breath. It felt like he’d been kicked in the ribs and yet he laid there on the verge of hyperventilation, his grip on reality steadily loosening.

_You’re awful. You’re selfish. You’re a brat. You’re a fake. No one wants you, no one loves you. No one would care, if you just disappeared… if you never came back._

Gods, he wished he could do something about it, to ease his pain, just a little something, something he could hide like he had been, his gloves had always come in handy for that very reason - but he couldn’t even move. As if to spite him, his pistol refused to summon. Nothing. Nothing worked.

Prompto slowly sat up, head cradled between his hands which were balled into fists in his tangled blond locks. He couldn’t do this anymore. The ground blurred beneath his feet as more tears fell, sending wavering visions of water across his eyes before the teardrops wet the ground below.

When a voice called, alarmingly close, he didn’t move, didn’t even bother to raise his head to see who it was. He already knew, by the tone of his voice, that it was Noctis.

Prompto turned away as footsteps crunched into the gravel. No one should have to see him in a state this unraveled, this pitiful.

“...Prompto?”

The Prince said nothing else as he knelt near, just far enough out of his reach that Prompto couldn’t push him away. Not that he could move even if he wanted to. He just sat with his head between his knees, hoping it obscured his red, swollen, crying face enough.

“I’m… fine,” Prompto forced out in answer, voice catching threateningly in his throat, but he swallowed back the dry harshness that gave him away. “I’m fine.”

Noctis let out a small breath, a light sigh, and sat cross-legged next to him. It was all Prompto could see from his limited view. Slowly the Prince’s gloved hand raised, lingering about an inch over his ankle.

“May I?” asked Noctis gently, already well aware that he could - and should - but the mere fact that he asked for permission before touching him made him completely dissolve; his whole facade shattered in an instant. That was all he ever wanted, for someone to express their concern, without him having to ask, or feel like he was burdening them with unnecessary complaints.

Flinging his arms away from his knees, Prompto wailed; a loud, moaning cry that echoed of mourning and fear and agony. He rushed toward Noctis, clinging, sobbing, pitiful, leaving large tear-streaks in Noctis’ dark t-shirt. Prompto wilted into Noctis’ warm chest and cried until he was hollow, pulling in ragged breaths and shuddering intermittently, feeling empty and broken.

The whole time, Noctis sat, held him, whispered soft encouragements to him, _it’s alright, let it out, just breathe, it’ll be okay. You’ll be okay. Stay strong. Just let everything out. I’ve got you, I’m right here. I won’t go anywhere. I’m here for you, Prompto. Whatever’s bothering you, I’ll keep you safe from. I promise._ And that was more than Prompto knew he’d ever needed, ever wanted, ever dreamed, ever desired - just someone to hold him while he cried his heart out, mourned for something he never knew he lost. But he’d found something in that moment as well.

“N...Noct?”

“Yeah? Did you need something?”

“Please… please don’t leave. Please don’t hate me. I’m sorry. I know… I’m really weak. I can’t keep up with you, or Ignis, or Gladio, but I’m… I’m trying my damn best, okay? I’m not royalty. I never will be. I just… I just _can’t.”_

Noctis slowly reached up to cradle Prompto’s head against his chest, rubbing gentle fingers into his scalp, keeping the stabbing pains of the brewing headache in his skull away.

“Don’t think about all that. Just focus on right here, right now, breathing deeply, okay?” The Prince’s heart beat strongly beneath his ear and it was the best anchor he could have wished for, the steady rhythm of life, of certainty, its beatings singing confidence. Prompto shuddered in his breaths in time with the offered cadence, and Noctis continued hushing Prompto’s weary sobs and wiped his tears away with his thumbs.

“I don’t know what caused you to be so upset, but if it’s anything I’ve done to you, or anything the others have done to you, that stops today. You don’t have to talk about it if it’s personal. But I just want you to know, you have my support. And the others’ support, too. They’ve been worried - me especially - but… I know what it’s like to need alone time. To decompress. Maybe throw some rocks at a lake or something. But I know what that’s like. I just… didn’t realize it was this bad until now. You’d been gone for a long time. I hope… me being here isn’t further upsetting you.”

“No, no!” Prompto rasped, trying to clear his throat, but to no avail. When Noctis produced a water bottle from his pocket, Prompto immediately took it and downed half its contents with a thankful sigh. He really was a life saver… a true blessing. “Please, please don’t go back yet. You’re not. I… I really needed some company. I’m sorry you… um… you had to see me like this. I’ll be okay. I just need a minute.”

Noctis leaned back on the rock face and guided Prompto to lean into his lap, so Noctis could continue running his fingers through Prompto’s soft blond hair. After a long moment, and a slow, nervous exhale, Noctis quietly confessed, “You know that I love you, right?”

“Like a bro? Or a friend?” Prompto asked, a dismissive, bitter chuckle following. He turned his head away, but Noctis’ hand still remained, combing light strokes against Prompto’s head.

“No. Not like that.”

Head turning, Prompto looked up into Noctis’ eyes. They were worried, weary, but there was something else; something Prompto couldn’t recognize or process.

“I love you. I should… I should have said something sooner. I’m sorry, you’ve been so miserable and had to deal with it all alone. I just… didn’t know how to tell you. I really love you. I never want you to feel alone ever again. Even if it’s just us against the world - well, us and Gladio and Ignis in our pairs together - I’d be happier than I’ve ever been.”

“You… really love someone as broken and… fake… as me?”

“Fake?”

“Yeah… all that happy, all that banter, that’s not me. That’s who I wish I was.”

“Do you really think that isn’t you?” Noctis asked, guiding Prompto to sit up when he started squirming uncomfortably. “You know I can tell when you’re upset, right? I’ve known you too long not to. If you were truly faking it, no one would know. Right? You’re really bad at hiding your feelings when you’re really unwell. I just… I’m sorry I didn’t know what to do sooner. Please forgive me.”

A stray tear slipped free and Noctis pulled Prompto close by a gentle hand at the back of his neck, kissing the droplet away. A tender gesture, unlike Noctis but at the same time, very much him. Prompto did his best not to break into sobs again, clenching his fists tight until they trembled.

“You… you really do love me?” asked Prompto, unsteadily.

“I _love_ you. I promise. Until the end of time, and even after that. Forever. You’re not alone. If you’ll let me, I’ll stay by your side for the rest of our lives. I don’t know what I’d do without you. You’re my world, Prompto.” A small, slight tear slipped from Noctis’ eyes and Prompto immediately pressed his lips to them, stealing them away. The saltiness burned against his chapped and peeling lips, but it healed him all the same.

“I… I love you too, Noct. Can we… stay like this for a bit, before going back? I want to look at the stars with you.”

“Sure, you can tell me all the constellations if you want. I know you take a lot of pictures of the sky at night,” Noctis hummed, and they sat together for a long while watching as the stars slowly blinked in, one at a time, until the whole sky twinkled with life, and the moon overhead illuminated their hideaway. Prompto felt, for the first time in his life, appreciated as _himself_ rather than who he wanted to be. And that was exactly what he’d wanted, all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Alec, I miss you. Come home safe to me soon. I love you so much <3


End file.
